Out of Office – what does yours say?

Like most people I pick up emails on the run so I rarely use “out of office” except when I’m uncontactable for a whole day or more. When I do use it to be honest it is boringly factual. When you can get hold of me, who to contact in the meantime etc.

However I have much more creative clients and one sent me this selection of out of office messages recently in a reply to an email when he was on holiday:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

5. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

6. I’ve run away to join a different circus

Which would you choose?